Cycle 4 Session 18 - Identifying Toxic/Abusive Relationships

Self-Reflection Questions 

WHO has the right to judge what is good or bad for your life?   

WHAT can someone do to show you that they value you? 

WHERE are you getting support ethically so you can maintain good V.E.S.P.M. health?

WHY is it important that you get help if you have been accused of having a problem? 

WHEN a toxic/abusive person can't control a situation, how do they usually respond?

HOW do you know when you are not safe? What is your plan?

A Physically Abusive Person

• To hurt another person's body physically in any way.

• To touch a person's body without their willing consent.

• To expose or explore a person's body without their consent.

• etc....

A Mentally Abusive Person

• Staying with someone to mistreat or abuse them (narcissism, destroy dreams/purpose)

• Always talking about trauma (emotional manipulation)

• Only willing to trust you, controlling your time, highly dependent on you (Co-dependent)

• Uses direct and indirect criticizing words (lowering your self-esteem)

• Bringing up hurtful or triggering situations (Gaslighting, Peace disrupter) 

• Willing to make fearful threats (place fear)

• Change to a mood for no reason and become overbearing (mood manipulation)

• Loud, toxic, and abusive language (intimidate, discourage)

• Disliking others (isolate)

• Lack of empathy (unlovable)

• Using finances to control (Haughty, prideful)

• etc.....

 If you have displayed any of the above abusive behaviors, please seek help. 

Check your local hospital, clinic, or healthcare facility and get counseling right away.

Don't make someone else's life miserable. Women and Men.

Self-Reflection Points

• If you need to change who you are just to be comfortable around a person, that means they don't like who you truly are.  In turn, if you are hoping that you can change that person, then you don’t like who they truly are. This can only produce a toxic relationship.

• When a person is unkind and inconsiderate to everyone else but you, it's just not your turn yet.

• If a person doesn't care for their own V.E.S.P.M. health, why would they care for yours?

• "trust your gut." If something no longer feels right, stop and look at the situation a little more closely; it may be time to make a move.

• Sometimes being the "damsel in distress" gives people who have experienced trauma a sense of power and control, thinking that "the savers" are forced to help them. What you are doing is waiting on others to determine your moves and mood. They take away your independence and your ability to accomplish anything.

"For it is all vanity" - Wise King Solomon