Cycle 4 Session 19 - Identifying Loving & Caring Relationships

Self-Reflection Questions

WHO is currently in your life that makes you feel loved and not judged?

WHAT feelings do you feel after leaving the presence of a loved one?

WHERE are your boundaries with time when dealing with loved ones, and are they fine with it? 

WHY do you feel you need and deserve to have loving relationships in your life?

WHEN you think of love, how many types of love do you think exist? 

HOW do you know if you're showing yourself enough love?

Signs of a Healthy and Loving Relationship

Respect- Respect for each other's Values, Ethics, Spirituality, Physical, and Mental beliefs. 

Adapt – Be willing to learn each other's perspective. Support each other with their goals. 

Communication -  Learn the skill of listening. Ask the person how they like to be listened to and how they like to be spoken to. 

Connecting – Continue to reintroduce yourselves. As you learn new things and have new experiences, you share them. Learning what you have in common. Meeting or talking as you both feel comfortable.

Humility – Be willing to PAUSE! Allowing and supporting each person to become and develop into the person they are purposed to become. Not pushing or imposing your VESPM beliefs or boundaries on them. 

Unconditional Self-love – This love is based on each person's Values, Ethics, Spirituality, Physical, and Mental plan. We must remember that those things change as we grow. Knowing what's more likely to change should be talked about as well as boundaries. There are things about each of us that make us all unique. Let them know that you love yourself just the way you are. As you grow, you will become a better you and not a better someone else.

Love languages (for dating)

Words of kindness - Genuine words that a person feels about you, that, when expressed to you, make you feel good or motivated.  

Physical touch - A loving, appropriate touch that makes you feel good. It can be a closeness, a cuddle, or a hug, depending on the person.

Acts of service - This can look like any thoughtful act of kindness. It can also be a heartfelt thing that wasn't asked of you. A "just because" act of kindness. 

Quality time - Time spent with another person, uninterrupted by insignificant things. Time is used to get to know another person on a deeper level.

Heartfelt gift giving - A gift given that suggests they know personal things about the other person. A gift that says "I was thinking about you." 

• These may look different with each person.

• Pay attention to how a person shows themself love.

• People will often mention what they like and don’t like with words or body language.

Self-Reflection Points

• To be able to care for yourself is a blessing and not to be taken for granted. 

•  A loving person will always contribute to your values, ethics, spirituality, physical, and mental health. 

• Show displays of love to yourself by saying words of kindness, acts of service, heartfelt gifts, taking time for enjoyment, and spending meaningful time alone. Others will treat you how you treat yourself.

• Your emotions can help guide you with this. We know when someone is making us feel loved. It is a sure feeling of happiness and security. 

• Although abuse and trauma can change the definition of the word love, the feeling usually is the same.  Don't block it out because of some bad experience.

"Hope deferred maketh the heart sick: but when the desire cometh, it is a tree of life" Proverbs 13:12