Cycle 7 Session 35 - Resolving Conflict

Self-Reflection Questions 

WHO is this a problem for? 

WHAT are the details of the problem? (what's on the line?)

WHERE are the mindsets and emotions of the parties involved? (Is resolution possible right now?)

WHY does the end goal need to be clear for both parties? (ask)

WHEN the facts are laid out, is everyone able to move forward? 

HOW much time, resources, and energy are you willing to give to resolve this conflict?

Rule # 1 is to S.T.O.P.

Stop – Do you know enough hard facts about the situation?

Think – How will this affect my V.E.S.P.M. plan and boundaries?

Observe – What all will be needed to resolve this issue? Is it worth my time?

Predict – What will be the outcome if I react in this way or that way?

Self-Reflection Points

• First, ask yourself, what does this have to do with me? Before you proceed. You may need to mind your business.

• Listen and ask questions until you are clear about what is going on and what everyone's goals are.

• Remember, you are not a mind reader. Don't think for someone else. Clear communication is important.

• Don't assume what's important to you is important to someone else. We all have different V.E.S.P.M. beliefs.

• Take into consideration your current state of mind and the emotions of the parties involved. If people are being unreasonable or unrealistic, it's best to let emotions simmer down or resume at another time.

• Think about the losses and the benefits. Write a list and go over it with someone you trust. Pray over it, if that's what you do. Don't make hasty decisions. 

• Sometimes it may be necessary to get other people or agencies to help. Ask the experts!

• Always be aware of the consequences before listening to others.  Advice is good until it isn’t.

• Most of all, be kind, show patience, and respect others as you want to be respected. But even more so, show love. 

" But let none of you suffer as a murderer, or as a thief, or as an evildoer, or as a busybody in other man's matters." 

 1 Peter 4:15 Holy Bible