C3 Session 23 - Rebuilding Trust

Key Questions

WHO can you be vulnerable with?   

WHAT are some things that you should not share with everyone? Why? 

WHERE is an appropriate place to be open and fully honest when sharing your thoughts? 

WHY should you only share a little at a time, even if you are comfortable with a person? 

WHEN a person seems to be overly interested in your personal business for no reason, what should you do? Why?

HOW much of your information can a professional share with others? Ask questions.

Total trust in a person - To rely on another person because you feel safe with them and have confidence that they will not hurt or violate you in any way. To have a belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or willpower of a person not to wrong you in any way. Slightly unrealistic for a human to have total trust in another being that our brains are pre-programmed for survival; freeze, flight, fight, rescue. 

Realistic view of trust - Forgiveness does not mean you show trust. Remember that all humans are unique to their V.E.S.P.M. beliefs. Forgiveness is only an emotional release of anger and or resentment.

How you can begin to rebuild trust?

1. Recognize you need to trust others.

We are social beings and cannot have close relationships without some trust. 

2. Acknowledge areas in which you already trust others.

You trust strangers every day; handling your money at the bank, taking care of your health, delivering your mail, etc.

3. Be realistic when it comes to trusting someone.

No one is 100% trustworthy not even you. Time and unforeseen events will happen to everyone.

4. Only share your trusted things (secrets, etc.) with a person who has proven to you that they are trustworthy.

Start with small confidences and see what happens. Be mindful to not put yourself in a position to be let down by trusting the wrong person. Use discernment when it comes to trust.

5. Trust yourself first.

Listen to that little voice in your head or that feeling inside of yourself and trust it. Most of the time you are right.

Self-Reflection Points

• There are times when you can't even trust yourself to do something. You have the best intentions but it never comes to pass. Time and unforeseen events will happen to everyone. You forgive yourself set boundaries and move on. You have to do the same things with others. 

• Laziness is no excuse to put your important responsibilities in someone else's hands. That is not about trusting the wrong person that's about you not handling your responsibilities. Your responsibilities are only a priority to you.

• Don't confuse trust with forgiveness. Those two words have two very different meanings.

• Use common sense. Everyone is not to be trusted. There is a reason that we can forgive and not forget. 

• If someone is known for not being trustworthy, don't become their next victim. Be mindful of your VESPM circle

• A professional/doctor may need to know more than a friend in order to come up with the proper conclusion about your health, etc.

• The H.I.P.P.A. law protects your medical information from being shared with anyone. You have the right not to share your medical information as well. Research information about the updates on the H.I.P.P.A. Law.

• It's great to share when in a support group. Just be mindful of the information that you want to keep private.

• If you are comfortable with someone, you can share a little at a time. See what happens before you reveal more information about yourself.

• If someone who doesn't need-to-know, insists on asking you about your personal information, ask yourself, or them, what do they plan to do with my information?

• Social media may not be a good way to share your private information.  Before sharing, ask yourself, is it to manipulate or seek sympathy from others? That is an unhealthy practice and can turn on you. 

Q -  What are the benefits of having a realistic view of trust?

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