C3 Session 24 - Knowing When to Share

KEY QUESTIONS

WHO cared for you when you were growing up?

WHAT are the five people/situations that hurt you the most? (make a list)? Person, what they did

WHERE are they now?

WHY do you feel you didn't deserve to be treated like that?

WHEN you think about them what emotions come up for you?

HOW should the situation have been handled? write it all down

SELF-REFLECTION POINTS 

• Knowing when to share

Knowing who and when to share your story with is important. Trauma is an event that changed the way you look at the world. Putting that information in the wrong hands can be dangerous. You can make yourself vulnerable to many suggestions. Be sure you only share your precious information with people who care about your well-being. Many lives have been damaged just by people sharing their information and then feeling they can trust or now have a friend only to be further traumatized. It is always best to share a little at a time and see what happens. Try a professional.

• Parents play a vital role in our lives

How they talk to you, how they handle situations, how they celebrate you, even the amount of attention they give you. They set a model for others to follow. They set the first V.E.S.P.M. plan for you. It is your job to instill your new Plan for yourself. We will go over that in Cycle 2.

Misplaced reactions

When a person has dealt with unresolved trauma it can speak out of turn. Trauma should be dealt with in a very sensitive and caring way. When it is not, It's not sure when to share, so it will share when it thinks anyone will listen. Most of the time acting out at inappropriate times sometimes at inappropriate places with the wrong people. You, yourself may have had outbursts before.  

Be honest about your hurt

First, you must be honest with yourself. Get off the boat and tell yourself the truth about how you felt and currently feel. Look in the mirror and share the truth with yourself. "_____ I did not like when you said/did ___. It made me feel ___. And every time I think about that It hurts. I didn't deserve that because I'm a good person. You are missing out on all the love I have to give.

Hurt people - Hurt People

When some people have experienced hurt or trauma they want others to not listen but understand what they are experiencing so they don't feel alone. These are the hurt people who hurt other people. Yes, there are indeed people who look at themselves as forever victims stuck in a hole of hurt and damage and want others to join them. Beware of "the victim". Remember if you can tell the story you are the SURVIVOR!

Closure? 

This is a tricky one. We can't turn back time. So we look for a sincere apology. Sometimes we will get one and sometimes we will not. That's it!

Q- How often do you check on the people you've hurt?