C7 Session 53 - Knowing The Facts Before I React

Key Questions

WHO job is it to fix everyone/s problems?

WHAT are signs that a person is reacting to a trigger?

WHERE are some places you can avoid so that you are not triggered?

WHY are emotions involved when it comes to an incident?

WHEN you forgive a person does it mean you must rekindle the relationship?

HOW can all parties move forward even if they don't agree?

Rule # 1 is to S.T.O.P.

Stop – Do you know enough hard facts about the situation to react?

Think – How will this affect my V.E.S.P.M. health? and boundaries?

Observe – Is this a highly emotional situation?

Predict – What will be the outcome if I react in this way or that way?

Self-Reflection Points

• Don't assume. Listen and ask questions until you are clear about what is going on. 

• Remember every day people change and you are not a mind reader. Don't think for someone else. Clear communication is important.

• Don't assume what's important to you is important to someone else. We all have different V.E.S.P.M. beliefs.

• Take into consideration your current state of emotion as well as the other persons. 

• Ask yourself, if left alone will this incident resolve itself?

• After finding out all the facts you can then see what kind of reaction is most beneficial.

• If possible try to come up with a plan on how everyone can move forward. 

• Sometimes it may be necessary to get other people or agencies involved.

• Remember anyone that asks you to violate your VESPM health or your boundaries is not on your side. It is up to you to stand up for yourself.

Q - Has this session helped you to better understand or have better control over your emotions and reactions?

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