C4 Session 31 - Identifying Loving & Caring Relationships

Key Questions

WHO is currently in your life that makes you feel loved?

WHAT feelings should you feel after leaving the presence of a loved one?

WHERE are your boundaries when dealing with loved ones and are they fine with it? 

WHY do you feel you need and deserve to have loving relationships in your life?

WHEN love is associated with some of your most hurtful, darkest memories, how can you still identify it? 

HOW do you feel when sharing information with a loved one? 

Stages of a Healthy and Loving Relationship

Respect- Find out what respect looks/ feels like to the other person

Adapt – Be willing to learn the other person's perspective and grow together. As you both support each other with your goals.

Understanding – Lean the skill of listening. Ask the person how they like to be listened to, with or without body language, with or without interactions.

Reconnect – Continue to reintroduce yourselves. Every day we become new, learn new things, and have new experiences. To grow together you must reintroduce who you have become regularly.

Dialogue – Be willing to talk. Sometimes it can be scary if we feel we are going to “get in trouble” or we say this is “not going to be received well” but say it any way. Assuming your mate has the power to read your mind is your mistake. Also, be mindful of how you react to information you don’t like. Are you likely to talk to an unreasonable person?

Unconditional love – This love is based on each persons Values, Ethics, Spirituality, Physical, and Mental is great. We must remember that all those things can change while in a relationship. Knowing what's more likely to change should be talked about as well as boundaries.

Humility – Smile and be humble. There are things about each of us that make us all unique. It’s what makes us human. Let your mate know that you love yourself just the way you are. As you grow you will become a better you and not a better someone else.

Healthy Love languages,

Words of kindness - Genuine words that a person feels about you, that when expressed to you make you feel good or motivated.  

Physical touch - A loving appropriate touch that makes you feel good. It can be a closeness, cuddle, or a hug depending on the person.

Acts of service - This can look like any thoughtful act of kindness. It can also be a heartfelt thing that wasn't asked of you. A "just because" act of kindness. 

Quality time - Time spent with another person uninterrupted by insignificant things. Time that is used to get to know another person on a deeper level.

Heartfelt gift giving - A gift given that suggests they know personal things about the other person. A gift that is given that says "I was thinking about you" 

• These may look different with each person.

• Pay attention to how a person shows themself love.

• People will often mention what they like and don’t like with words or body language.

Self-Reflection Points

• To be loved and cared for is a blessing and not to be taken for granted.

•  By identifying the love you already have in your life; like love from your family or a close friend, you can compare those feelings to others that say they love you.  

•  A loving person will always contribute to your values, ethics, spirituality, physical and mental health. 

• Show displays of love to yourself and others by sharing words of kindness, acts of service, heartfelt gifts, taking time for enjoyment, and spending meaningful time alone. Others will treat you how you treat yourself.

• Your emotions can help guide you with this. We know when someone is making us feel loved. It is a sure feeling of happiness and security. 

• Enjoy the love you already have in your life. Don't take it for granted, It's not like pancakes, you can't just whip some more up.

• A loving person will noticeably and undoubtedly treat you with kindness and respect. Sharing their space and life will be enjoyable.

• Trust your gut! Although abuse can change the definition of the word love the feeling usually starts the same.  

Q - What is the best way to find and maintain a healthy relationship?  

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