C4 Session 28 - Building Reliable Friendships

Key Questions

WHO can become a reliable friend? 

WHAT usually contributes to a lasting friendship?

WHERE is a good place to meet new friends?

WHY is it important to set clear boundaries with a new friend?

WHEN would you consider a person a close friend or an intimate friend?

HOW should you feel when you are with a real friend?

Types of friendships

Type A – These friends you can trust with your deepest thoughts and feelings. They are there for you when you are happy and when you are sad. There during good times and bad.  In a true 100/100 relationship, each person is giving their all. Reciprocity is not a question in this friendship. You can be your true self around them.  They have proven their loyalty over the tests of time.  They have non-judgmental unconditional love for you. Some people refer to this friend as your "ride and die" (lol). These friends are like family and will walk with you throughout life.

Type B – These are the friends you have a common interest or a current situation in common. You may have even shared some special moments together. But mostly talk about the things or situations you'll have in common. These friendships are limited and can end when the common interest or situation changes. Sometimes depending on the empathy bond that was formed, these friendships can also grow into Type A friendships over a period of time. Otherwise, these friendships will only be for a season. Each season brings forth its produce but when the season is over all its beauty & benefit must go with it.

Type C– These are friends that you have a common enemy with. These friends may have your back while fighting the enemy. They are always there for the fight. They tend to lean towards negativity. However, you may become the victim if you ever fall on the wrong side of the fence or change your way of thinking. Be watchful of how they treat others because one day it can be you.

Type D - These friends are mostly benefiting from this friendship. You are often left feeling drained or have a feeling of loss after spending time with them. This friendship is usually not genuine. You can't be yourself around them. It's a 10/100 friendship exchange ratio and it's very clear that you are the one losing. You both will more likely have very different views on VESPM and boundaries. You will benefit from having them out of your life. They are there to get what they can get out of you. When you stop giving, (whatever that is) the friendship will end. Be alert, they will come back to see if they can suck something, anything else out of you. These people are in your life for a reason. For you to learn how to set boundaries and balance in your life. 

Be mindful that all interactions with others even when brief can go from appreciation to anticipation to exception to entitlement.  

Self-Reflection Points

• The keys to having any friendship are knowing who’s who and keeping everyone in their lanes. 

• Don’t confuse a Type C friend for a Type A or vs and etc. This will help keep a balance when it comes to expectations in the friendship.  

• Friendships A, and B, are true to you in their own way. However, a Type A, and possibly Type B friendship will be with you. If you are blessed to find such persons cherish them.   

• Type D friends are "wolves in sheep covering" Be careful, these are the most dangerous people to have around you. They can distract you from your purpose because they are selfish and only care about what they want. They will also drain you of your material possessions. 

• In a Type D friendship, there is always a need, they are like bottomless pits. Therefore, like a river that never receives any rain you can only be left dried up, the little they do give will never match up to how much they require.  

• People can change from one type of friend to another. But generally, people are who they show you they are. 

• Family members don't automatically fit into a Type A  friendship. 

  • Remember that everything in nature functions through a reciprocation system. A cycle of give and take. Don't think that you are an expectation to the rule. "There will be a time to plant and a time to uproot" Ecclesiastes 3:2

• Most importantly, in order to keep a great friend, you must be a great friend in return. Treat people how you want to be treated.

• What type of friend are you, A, B, C, or D? 

Q - In this session did you learn how to set filtered boundaries while in a relationship?

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